| Recipe for evil! |
[Sep. 4th, 2006|10:08 am] |
Five of the best scenes from my imaginary Batman arc:
Closing in.
It wasn't unusual for Batgirl to see a group of people atop a building in Blüdhaven with cutting torches. It really wasn't unusual for them to be dressed up in similar costumes. It wasn't unusual, but that didn't mean it was to ignore -- especially when the costumes looked like the Riddler's costume.
Batgirl swung from one building, arced upward, released her jumpline, and landed on the rooftop silently. The six Riddlers didn't notice her landing. It wasn't until she was several steps closer and had said, "You're under arrest," that they even turned around. As they turned, Batgirl's eyes widened. All six of the Riddlers' bodies were saying the same thing:
"It's about time you got here."
Instantly, the six of them charged at her.
For all their ability, it was a simple matter for Batgirl to block their attacks. Each Riddler telegraphed an attack as loudly as humanly possible. Defense was easy, but offense was another matter. For as loudly as they were telegraphing attacks, the syncronization of the attacks made it difficult to do more than hold her ground.
Batgirl delivered a crushing uppercut to one of the Riddler's chins, when the back of her head suddenly felt like it exploded. Unconsciously, she knew it wasn't any of the six. They were in no position for such an attack. A sickening thought hit Batgirl as she collapsed to the ground.
It had been a trap.
Supervilains say the darndest thing.
Batgirl woke up with a start. She immediately remembered the Riddlers, the fight, and the trap. Escape leapt to mind as a number one priority. Unfortunately, the straitjacket around her torso, the chains woven around and through the restraint, and the shackles clamped to her ankles quickly modularized the varying degrees of escape she needed to get through before she was free.
"Oh, good," one of the Riddlers said.
Another stepped into Batgirl's line of sight. "You're awake," another one said.
A third moved out of the shadows and added, "We were afraid..."
"...the taser had been set too high," the first finished.
Behind her mask, Batgirl scowled at the three Riddlers. She was about to ask what the three Riddlers were up to, but couldn't open her mouth to ask. Something was stuck over the lower half of her face, and it seemed as unmovable as everything else.
"About that."
"We require your mask..."
"...for our plan, but not..."
"...your mouth. Sorry."
Batgirl scowled as hard as she could from behind her mask.
"I suppose some explanation is in order," the Riddlers said. Their fragmented speech, as well as their movements, blended together so seamlessly, that as far as Batgirl was concerned, they were one person. "Simply put, Ra's al Ghul wants his 'She Who Is All' back, and the sum he is offering made the job too interesting for us to pass up. Intersting, mind you, not because of the money, but because of the challenge of it."
The three Riddlers spoke in perfect unison: "How do you capture and transport Batgirl, all from right beneath the Batman's nose?"
"The most intersting Riddle we've ever been asked," one of the Riddlers added.
Riddle answered?
Robin climbed through the ventilation shaft as slowly as possible, not making a sound. At the end of the shaft, Robin peered through the grate and saw just what Batman had predicted.
Sitting along in the middle of the warehouse was Batgirl. The Riddler -- or whoever was pretending to be him, since Batman wasn't wholly convinced -- had her wrapped up, chained down, but otherwise she looked okay.
"I'm coming, Cass," Robin whispered. He slowly began to unscrew three of the screws holding the grat on the shaft. With the screws out, Robin was able to silently move the grate away from the opening, letting it hang from the forth.
Getting from the shaft over to Batgirl was simple. The warehouse was dimly lit, and if she did see him, Batgirl was playing it cool enough to to act like she noticed him. Eventually, though, Robin was able to slip up behind Batgirl.
"Ca-- Batgirl," Robin whispered. Surprisingly, Batgirl jumped as Robin spoke. The sudden frenzy of movement and grunting completely caught Robin off guard. Whoever he was rescuing, it wasn't who it was supposed to be. Robin squinted curiously.
He reached out and pulled the Batgirl mask from the captive's head. Behind the mask was a girl. Her facial structure was almost a match for Cass's, but the there wasn't a hint of Asian heritage in her coffee colored skin. Robin reached out and pulled the duct tape from her mouth.
"Oh, thank god!" the girl cried. "I don't know who they were, they just--"
"If you're hearing this," a voice very much like the Riddler said, "then that means out little Shana's voice has been heard by this bomb." A set of large, red light illuminated the far end of the warehouse.
60...
"I assume that you could escape within a minute, Batman," the Riddler's recording said, "but we know you won't leave a hostage behind.
57...
"Goodbye, Batman."
An outside consult.
"What are you up to, Nygma?" Batman growled. He bent Edward Nygma, the Riddler, back over his workstation desk as far as the man's spine would allow. "No riddles, no puzzles, just answers, or I won't hesitate to snap you in half."
It had taken too long to get the Metropolis. He'd taken the Batmobile, because even with the speed the Batplane afforded, he would have needed to thread his was through traffic somehow. Nygma was the only lead they had, which meant Batman was in no mood to waste any more time.
"I'm afraid you're the one puzzling m-- me, Batman," Nygma chuckled nervously. Batman pushed him back further. "I swear, Batman, I've been here in Metropolis all week working on this 'Wendy the Werewolf Stalker' A.R.G. compaign. You can ask my co-workers!"
"And we'll all vouch for him," a voice said from the doorway. Batman didn't move. He'd known three people were coming down the hallway. Two of them men, the other a woman. "Batman," the woman continued.
"Nightwing told me you were one of the best heroes he knew, Miss Chambers," Batman rumbled. "If that's true, then tell me why you're taking the side of the Riddler?" He slowly turned his head, letting the three newcomers see one, glaring eye.
"Because I am -- was, I was a hero," Jesse told him, "And as a hero, I learned not to attack innocent citizens. Edward has been here all week, from nine-to-midnight working on the game. I don't know what you're accusing him of, but he would have to be in half a dozen places at once to have pulled it off."
Batman turned back around, glaring at Nygma. "That's exactly what I'm accusing him of."
And in the end.
Batgirl glared at the seven Riddlers who were coming toward her. One was carrying a large syringe full of somehing green and nasty looking. Two others where carrying something that looked hauntingly like a pair of cattle prods. The other four, between them, were carrying a long, wooden crate.
Batgirl shifted uncomfortably when she realized just exactly what they planned to put in the crate.
There was no way to fight. No way to escape. None of her restraints would budge. Her only hope now was that Batman, or Robin, or Oracle, or even Kon would find her. Otherwise... She didn't like to think about otherwise.
The Riddlers set down their crate, and lifted the lid from it. The two Riddlers with the cattle prods moved to either side of her, and the one with the needle stepped around behind her to approach from the back.
Batgirl curled up as much as she could, readying herself for a lunge. If she couldn't escape, maybe she could break the syringe and delay them. Any time she wasn't in the crate was more time to be found. She felt the Riddler approach from behind. A few more inches closer, then he would--
Drop the needle.
Batgirl heard the glass syringe shatter against the floor. A pair of cattle prods clattered against the ground soon after. Batgirl snapped her head around to look at as many of the Riddlers as she could see. All of them seemed to be standing up, and all of them looked slack jawed.
"Batgirl," one of them said, "This is Oracle. Look, I don't know if you can reply, and I doubt that I could hear you through this interface if you could. Just hold on. Batman's on the way."
Take a dash of ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) __marcelo. A handful of razorsmile. Then lovingly sprinkle a healthy dose of Cadmus Project. Stir until it thinkens, then...
Q. How many Riddlers does it take to finally take down Batman?
A. None. All you need is Distribute Ed.
It works like this. Clone and speed grow a bunch of Edward Nygmas. Use an Absorbascon to copy his engrams, then feed them into a number of Responsometers. Put the Responsometers into a bunch of green, Riddler hats. Each one of the hats has a bit of the Jarvis Tetch's technology sewn into the hat. Just add clones, and you have a clusterable flock of Riddlers at your disposal.
The perfect tool for a multi-layered bait-and-switch job designed to (and possibly able to) keep Batman busy enough to kidnap and smuggle one of his sidekicks out of Blüdhaven. That's all assuming, mind you, that the real Edwrad Nygma isn't reformed, working for Pragmatic Paradigms, and more than happy to accept the challenge of out-Riddlering a group of himselves.
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